Look. I get it. Death is scary.
Even this Ur-Death is kind of messed up and weird. Do you remember what it was like when you first realized that your heart wasn’t beating? Even if your embrace was a long awaited goal or a rude shock, that first moment when you realized that something had changed...had changed Irrevocably....It took a bit of processing.
That’s the thing that’s easy to get lost in the shuffle about this existence, if you aren’t paying attention. Many times, the big choices that you make are irrevocable. The choice to bend another’s will with your blood, the choice to create a childe, the choice to drink someone dry. Once these things are done, they cannot be undone. And once you’ve done them enough, you don’t even want to bother to atone.
Look. The fact of the matter is this, Death isn’t really all THAT scary compared to the idea that maybe you can’t stop yourself from diablerizing. Or maybe you can’t stop yourself from lusting after another’s vitae. Or you’re ruthlessly hooked on Lacrima or some other madness like that.
(No. the irony that I am counseling people against the use of certain substances has not been lost on me.)
Death isn't all that scary compared to the idea that you might end up on the receiving end of some princely punishment that lands you awake and aware in a concrete block at the bottom of the river. Even should you win free of such a prison, you aren't likely to be the same afterwards. If nothing else, you'll have a withering case of claustrophobia for the rest of your Requiem.
Death isn’t really all that scary compared to the idea that you can become addicted to another’s vitae for as long as they care to keep you on the hook. That you can be made to turn your back on friends, allies, mortal family, your personal philosophy and your ideals. That you can be made into a sad parody of yourself. When you have those occasional moments alone and you want no other thing than to be free from an abusive relationship to the point that you’re willing to wait for your savior to rise in the East...
Let’s just say I had a bad experience.
I won’t even take a personal ghoul because the idea makes me go squick. I can’t make that choice for anyone else though. You have to determine where you personally have to stand on the whole addiction/slavery question. For some, it might be the only way they can survive, and for others, having a domitor might be downright therapeutic. Especially if you treat them well. Which you should.
I should mention, that seeing a Carthian treat a ghoul, like an Invictus treats a Carthian is one of those things that riles me up pretty well.
The Ordo...Well. It’s a different culture entirely. Again, your mileage may vary.
Look. You can lie to your Prefect. You can lie to your prince. Although I don’t recommend either. Lying at a certain level in kindred society is largely pointless. You might as well tell the truth. They may not be prepared for it.
But the one thing you can’t lie to, is your own conscience.
You have to deal with the idea that maybe you’ll enslave someone without meaning to. You may have to live with the idea that someone will want to enslave you.
Some have tried with me. When that takes place, there are only Three options.
*Kill them.
*Kill yourself.
*Live the rest of your nights as a slave.
Me. I’ll get myself a suntan before I live that way again.
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